I’m mostly only posting because I know that WordPress is going to yell at me if I don’t by tomorrow, but I really don’t have much that I want to say. I’m already starting to get stressed between the four (yes, four,) jobs that I’m doing this summer, and I’ve been counting down the days until I get to move back to Chicago pretty much since I walked through the front door. (It’s 96, by the way.)
What’s hard about feeling this way is that we’re not even a week into summer. I’ve only been home for five days. A work week. And I’m already dying to get back to being able to hang out with my roommates until midnight, never feeling like I’m doing enough or accomplishing enough, or even being able to complain about a class I don’t like.
Maybe it’s my own fault. Maybe I shouldn’t have picked a school I knew I’d adore in a city I can never stop thinking about. Maybe it’s my fault for having such amazing friends, co-workers, classmates, and roommates. Maybe it’s my fault for befriending upperclassmen that get to stay in the city for the summer. Maybe it’s my fault for getting too used to not having to deal with my parents and my sister and chores after being gone for a year. I don’t like to think that any of this is my fault, and that this is the way things are supposed to work, ‘all part of the process’, but I can’t help but wonder if I’ve made the right choice. The choice, to stay home.
Don’t get me wrong: I absolutely adore my internship and all of the opportunities it has to offer; and whenever I think about the fact that I get to teach color guard to my alma mater all summer, that gets me giddy beyond belief; but I still can’t help but count down the days to when I get to move back home. Back to Chicago. Back to the place where I can run farther and longer, where I can make plans for a Saturday night (where I actually want to make plans for a Saturday night,) but most importantly, back to the place where I’m the most comfortable, and usually the most happy. True, I get stressed out from school and work and everything, but it’s a good stressed. It’s a content stressed. It’s a ‘yeah-I-could-see-myself-here-for-life’ kind of stressed.
Since I’m wiped, and I’ve got a lot to accomplish tomorrow, I’m gonna hit the hay. Like I said – I just needed to post something so WordPress doesn’t send me a bunch of angry emails tomorrow.