Rambling: Evaluating My Life… or something.

Everything now seems so different. At this point in time last year, the biggest thing I had to worry about was scholarships. I mean, that was a lot to worry about for sure, but it seems like there’s so much more going on in my life now. I’ve got to worry about balancing multiple jobs, actually having a lot of homework, preparing to train for my half marathon, attempting to have a social life, and still trying to do scholarships. Never mind how much I still have to do for things happening this summer. 

With all this stuff happening, I always forget where I am. At this point in time last year, I still didn’t know where exactly I would end up, (it was between Columbia and Northern Michigan, dependent on scholarships,) but I was hoping every day that I would end up in Chicago. Because it was my favorite city. The Bean, the buildings, the deep-dish pizza, all the things going on, and just the fact that it was Chicago

Now I’m here. I’m at my dream school. I’m doing what I love, and I’m doing the best I can to keep living the life that I do. I’m not extremely religious or anything, but I mean it when I say that I am blessed. I’m so fortunate to have been able to march for the summer that I did, and I hope to God that I can do it again. I’m so lucky to be in not only an institute for higher education, but to be in one like Columbia – where I can learn and work with people who share the same burning passion as I do for their art, and even a handful of people who are pursuing the same professional dream I am. 

Even while I’m super stressed between school and work, for some reason, I just think about that. The fact that I get to be extremely stressed in basically my dream situation. 

And yet, for some reason… I’m still not happy. Don’t ask me why, because it’s taking a lot for me to even admit it. I’m not as happy as I should be spending all this money on school. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with Columbia at all, I love it here. I love learning what I’m learning and I love the friends I’ve made here. I love my room mates and going out to eat on the weekends. I love watching movies and staying up late watching Netflix even if I have to work at 8am the next day. 

That just goes to show, I guess, how even if you love something or maybe even someone, you could still be unhappy. Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that every single time I leave and then come back to Chicago, I just wish the ticket read “ATL” instead of “ORD.” For some reason, Georgia is on my mind a lot more than it probably should be. And I’m really not sure how I feel about that.

I don’t intend on leaving Chicago anytime soon. I have seven more semesters here at Columbia, and I intend on living them out. I have so much to learn from the professors and students here, I can’t imagine being anywhere else. 

I just need to remind myself how much I wanted to be in the position I am in now, and I need to remember what’s good. My New Years Resolution is “Appreciate More.” And appreciate, I will. So help me God.

Advertisements

Author: erikabunk

Raised in Northern Minnesota. BA in Radio/Business & Entrepreneurship, but right now just talking too much about running shoes and a Masters Student at DePaul (Journalism). Training for the marathon with various podcasts. Spends too much time on Spotify, in search of the best record store in the world, and dreams of returning to Reykjavík.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s